Hate You?
I fought for you – You fought against me.
I begged for you – You ignored me.
I needed you – You never needed me.
You just used me. Y o u hated m e .
You used my attention, my kindness, my empathy, my love.
You used it until I had none left.
Everything that was mine, was yours.
Anything that was yours, was yours.
I still tried…
I tried so hard to make you happy.
I tried to be the one to make you feel loved.
I tried to fill a void I thought I saw in you.
That void was a black hole.. I was stuck.
I let you into our home, you slept in another woman’s bed.
You hid it so well for a time.
& even when you didn’t…
I stayed.
I knew where you took my car.
I knew where your bike rides took you.
I knew why you didn’t respond to messages….
I stayed.
….. I saw pictures ….
I stayed.
I used to blame myself for all of that. A lot of survivors do.
Then I remember.. It was you.
You love bombed me until I believed I could be vulnerable.
You gaslit all my attempts of finding truth.
You cheated & called me crazy.
You abused me…
You also pushed my life onto a different trajectory.
Getting away from you gave me the drive to move out.
Getting away from you taught me introspection.
Getting away from you forced me to feel.
MOST Importantly –
Getting away from you brought me to HIM.
I have a life I love. A partner who loves me. Who listens to and understands my emotions.
He gets all of my happiness. He gets all of my attention.
So, no..
I don’t hate you –
I don’t love you –
I don’t think about you –
There is no space in my being for you.